HORROR D'OEUVRES
FRANKENHOOKER and A Salad Called Elizabeth
Greetings, fellow fiends and culinary creeps! Welcome to another piece of Horror D'oeuvres in collaboration with
Your new favorite corner of the internet, where we delve into the delectable depths of cinematic terror and pair it with a snack.
Are you tired of watching horror movies on an empty stomach?
Then you've come to the right place! We're here to elevate your horror movie nights from mundane to monstrously memorable.
Let me introduce you to a pure horror gem, FRANKENHOOKER
Now, where do I even begin? This movie is like someone took a fever dream, mixed it with a VHS copy of a 70s exploitation flick, and then microwaved it for an hour.
It’s a beautiful, chaotic, and utterly bonkers mess.
Our protagonist, Jeffrey, is a nerdy med student with a serious girlfriend, Elizabeth. Tragically, Elizabeth gets turned into a chunky mess by a rogue lawnmower at a party.
The reporter describes the body as “A salad once called Elizabeth”, hence our recipe.
Naturally, Jeffrey's response isn't grief; it's "I can rebuild her! I have the technology… and a bunch of crack-addicted prostitutes!"
Yes, you heard that right. He decides to cobble together a new Elizabeth from the "best parts" of various sex workers he… acquires. And because this is "Frankenhooker," those "best parts" are often accompanied by hilariously bad special effects and even worse one-liners.
The acting? Think community theater meets a late-night infomercial.
The special effects make Ed Wood look like Avengers Endgame.
The exploding bodies scene is HILARIOUS.
And then there's the "supercrack." Oh, the supercrack. It turns the ladies into… well, let's just say they become even more enthusiastic about their work, and their heads explode. Repeatedly. It's gloriously ridiculous.
"Frankenhooker" isn't a good movie. It's a glorious, trashy, low-budget masterpiece of bad taste. It's the kind of movie you watch with a group of friends, armed with copious amounts of snacks (and alcohol) and a strong sense of irony.
It's the kind of movie that makes you question your sanity, but in a good way.
If you're looking for sophisticated horror, look elsewhere. But if you want to witness a film where a nerdy med student creates a super-powered, crack-addicted prostitute monster and then fights her with a vacuum cleaner, then "Frankenhooker" is your cinematic soulmate.
Highly recommended for fans of bad movies, good times, and exploding heads.
A salad called Elizabeth
Beetroot will make it very gore and crumbled feta will resemble brain, at least on my opinion.
For the Salad:
500g cooked beetroot
200g feta cheese, crumbled
100g rocket
50g walnuts, chopped
Fresh mint leaves
For the Dressing:
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon honey (or maple syrup)
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
Salt and pepper to taste
For the crunch:
A handful of sunflower seeds
1 tbsp of soy sauce
Instructions:
If using pre-cooked beetroot, simply cut it into bite-sized pieces.
Toast the seeds in a pan. Once toasted, add the soy sauce and mix while still hot.
Put them aside to cool down.
In a small bowl or jar, whisk together the olive oil, balsamic vinegar, honey, Dijon mustard, salt, and pepper until well combined.
Assemble the Salad:
In a large bowl, place the mixed salad greens.
Add the cooked beetroot, crumbled feta cheese, and chopped walnuts.
If using fresh mint, sprinkle that over the salad.
Drizzle the dressing over the salad.
Gently toss everything together until well combined.
Add the seeds on top.